This should not become a nightmare experience for either dog or family. Dogs generally need to relieve themselves, on waking up, after feeding or after an energetic game. Watch for signs of circling or sniffing. It is important to accompany your dog out into the garden initially so that you can immediately reward when he/she goes to the toilet.
If there is an accident, it is too late so avoid telling the dog off or over-reacting as he/she may become confused and think that the reaction is to them actually going to the toilet. This can encourage a dog to eat mess in order to get rid of it. Clean the area with a biological solution to get rid of the scent and keep a closer eye on the dog in the future. The more times you can reward him/her for going in the right place, the quicker housetraining and the dog asking to go outside will progress.
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Proprietor of Paws'n'Learn TTouch Guild APDT UK 130 Pet Professionals Guild